I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
