I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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