Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
