So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
