I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
