I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
