your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
