Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
