I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize