He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
