Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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