the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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