Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
