But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
