this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
