That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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