He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
