We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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