there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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