he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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