Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize