They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
