At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
