That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
