Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I could fuck to npr.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
