i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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