And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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