Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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