does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize