i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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