I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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