Nicole vs. Life
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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