She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There r osticjed everywhere
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
