Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize