I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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