i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
