We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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