it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
