I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
