38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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