It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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