This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You were trust falling into bushes
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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