Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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