you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
