i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
