An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
