there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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