So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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