everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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