Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
