i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
