loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
