i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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