No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
