White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
