You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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