come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
