just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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