Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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